The Learning Curve
by aapenname
Summary: Oliver has to learn the small things that make up parenting.


Oliver knew he had a lot to learn about his ten-year-old son, but he'd had no idea how far behind the learning curve he really was. No one warned him how hard it was to keep a kid alive and healthy. Of course, Oliver had had a little sister ten years his junior, but Thea hadn't been his responsibility so he'd apparently been oblivious to how much effort went into the apparently very complicated task of keeping kids alive until they were old enough to do it for themselves.

It seemed like every time he looked up William had a new scrape or something hurt and the words 'watch this!' and 'I don't feel so good' now struck fear into Oliver's heart in ways he never could have anticipated. At this rate, it would be quicker (and cheaper) to follow the boy around with a roll of duct tape in one hand and toilet paper in the other.

They'd learned the hard way that William couldn't stomach Indian food. That particular incident had ended up with both Oliver and William in the small downstairs bathroom as William's digestive tract engaged in an epic fire sale from both ends simultaneously. Oliver had hovered near a miserable William, holding a bucket in front of the mortified kid who hadn't left the toilet in over in hour despite complaints that his legs were going numb. Oliver had rubbed the kid's back and murmured to him softly while inwardly laughing at the thought that there wasn't a single other person on earth he would do this for.

Another thing he wouldn't do for anyone else but William? Pulling teeth. Literally. Oliver had a newfound respect for the phrase 'like pulling teeth.' It was very apt in his opinion. William had recently started losing his upper and lower back teeth, but was freaked out by the slight pain involved in pulling baby teeth. Apparently, Samantha had always done the honors, but in her stead, there was now stood Oliver. Who was completely grossed out by the whole thing. He'd thought maybe they could just wait for the teeth to fall out on their own, but apparently it didn't work that way. After a quick google search revealed the horror show of what could happen if baby teeth weren't pulled before the adult replacements grew in, Oliver steeled himself for some simple home dentistry. Several attempts later, William grinned holding his tooth in his hand and crowing about the tooth fairy while Oliver nursed sore fingers from being bitten—hard—during the whole fiasco. Oliver also planned to have a talk with the tooth fairy who William insisted now left five dollars a tooth rather than the twenty-five cents per tooth Oliver had gotten as a kid.

The ear infection had been a lot scarier. At first, Oliver had thought William was just being silly as the kid had weaved around the loft, bouncing off of walls and furniture. He'd grown a bit more concerned when he realized William was slurring words. Either his ten-year-old had been hitting the bottle or something wasn't quite right. Oliver had nearly broken his own neck trying to get to William when he'd seen the boy's unsteady gait headed towards the loft stairs. Some ibuprofren and a few warm compresses later, William was on the mend. It took Oliver a little longer to get over it.

Pink eye wasn't much more fun. Especially when Oliver managed to catch it from William. Trying to convince a small child to let you put medicine directly into his eye was a battle exacerbated by the fact that Oliver's eyes didn't feel all that great either.

Mono took three doctor visits to diagnose and afterwards William missed almost three weeks of school while home on bedrest. That meant Oliver had to work from home, which really wasn't that bad. Oliver had thought it would be fun to tease William about catching cooties from kissing girls, but when William didn't object to the idea of kissing girls, Oliver sobered, realizing they were probably going to have to have The Talk pretty soon. William was his father's son after all.

The latest bout had been the flu. William had moaned and literally cried any time he was awake. His muscles hurt and when he was this sick, he really missed Samantha. Finally, Oliver had tucked William into bed with him, hoping the closeness would help with the restlessness. It had been fine until William had thrown up all over both of them plus the bed. Not even pretending he would wash the soiled sheets, Oliver had thrown the whole mess in the trash and tossed it down the garbage chute.

Trying to keep one kid happy and healthy was a lot of work, but it wasn't all bad. Oliver had learned about the virtues of chamomile tea and that sometimes all a scrape needed was a band-aid and a big hug. He'd learned how to tell from a single look when William was really sick and when he was probably faking it. Oliver had learned that William might not be able to eat Indian food, but he loved milk boba tea. When he had a bad day, Moo-llenium Crunch ice cream never failed to cheer him up and his favorite celebration food was spaghetti and meatballs with a sickening amount of parmesan.

There were a lot of things William probably hadn't even realized that Oliver now knew. William liked school, but it didn't come naturally to him. He was great at anything that let him exercise his creativity because his mind came up with things like a tornado spitting out debris, but he struggled with subjects that required him to recall facts because he had trouble sitting still long enough to memorize them. William was a fairly obedient child, eager to please, but the rules had to make sense to him. William tended to chew on his inner cheek when he was being less than truthful. Life without his PS4 was William's idea of hell and it made for a good bargaining tool when chores or homework needed to be done.

Oliver kept learning, usually on the job. Oliver may have started behind the curve, but keeping William happy gave him plenty of motivation not to stay there.


End file.
